This is a new series and we're gonna start it today. My podcast is called Outer Monologue and I’m running this series on my podcast too if you’d like to check it out here.
This is Outer Monologue (Off).
A Simple Screen-Free Evening Routine for Families
I want to talk about simple ways to get your kids offline and to spend time together as a family. Some of you are already doing this and this is hopefully just encouragement and more validation.
For those of you that are not doing this, these are just gonna be really simple ways and things that we literally do at my house, so that we can disengage from being online all the time.
What Is Family Reading Time?
The first one is called Family Reading Time. Family Reading Time is just 30 minutes. In my house, we do it from 7:30 to 8 p.m. and there is no technology allowed. The second rule is you must share the same air as your family, meaning we have to be in the same space. We do this in our living room and for the majority of these we read. Everybody has a book (only real books allowed) and/or they can have a no-tech activity like a craft or puzzle or something for pretend play.
Screen-Free Activities Kids Can Do During Reading Time
We call this Family Reading Time, but if my daughter wants to crochet, she's welcome to do that. If my son wants to play with his Hot Wheels cars on the floor and his kinetic sand, he's welcome to do that. But you will share the same air and just sit together in the same space. You don't have to engage with one another, but you can as long as it doesn’t disrupt the others. We're also practicing manners and just being good humans.
If people want to play a board game, they're allowed to do that. If they want to play cards, if they want to play dominoes, allowed to do that. We play a lot of backgammon in my house because we're old people and we play lots of chess.
If anyone is choosing to read we also don’t do music. If we do music it is classical music and usually we only do that when everyone is playing a game or crafting. No TV. Zero. No scrolling.
This is also outside of homework time. These are leisure activities and hobbies and they should be enjoyable, so it's OK to find what works for your family and their interests. Also, you can call it whatever you want. This is just what we call it.
The Basic Rules of Family Reading Time
No technology.
Be in the same room.
The room can also be your front porch.
Why a Wind-Down Routine Helps Kids Self-Regulate
I love this because it’s mandated wind-down time for myself and the kiddos. It develops good habits. It lets everyone decompress and get back in touch with their own brain and their own body.
I know people like to do walks after dinner. I think that's great, too. If that's something that you would like to do, that's awesome. But by 7:30 in my house we have eaten dinner probably at least an hour ago. So that's not a walk time for us.
At 7:30 p.m. in our house, usually everyone's in pajamas and everybody enjoys this time because there is some autonomy and there is some choice involved. Also, if we have to push forward or back this 30-minute window—no one really complains. This is leisure time and once the routine is established the kids really enjoy it.
We've been doing this for about two years. The kids’ interests have grown and changed and they work on different projects. My daughter used to crochet a ton. She's not been crocheting very much lately. Now she's back to reading and beading. She loves to make necklaces and she does that during this time. My son is now developing into a better reader, so some nights he will read during this time with me. He also still does a lot of pretend play and I hope that continues! (He’s my last baby and I think I’ll be a mess when he begins to move on from all the car and army man-related adventures.)
How to Start a Family Reading Time at Home
So if you’re ready to log-off a little more and looking to encourage your kids to find, explore, and enjoy more screen-free activities—I think you’ll love this.
Start small. It’s just 30 minutes and in time you’ll see them choose more screen-free, logged-off activities on their own outside of this window. At least, that’s what happened for us.
Once you get settled into this routine, it's a nice way to reconnect and stay connected without having to necessarily engage, because everyone needs a little space sometimes. It also allows for your brain to just slow down and I think this is going to be a skill for self-regulation that we're going to have to work through, especially with our kids. Teaching them and modeling for them to be able to say no, and decompress and slow down. It shows them how to keep from getting overstimulated and to have more enjoyable time to themselves they can interdependently control. Also, I think it helps us sleep better.
Let me know if you want to give it a try or if you’re already doing this.
Next in the series: Old Show Dinner.